Saturday, September 19, 2009

The Man I Am Missing

I am missing someone. It’s been a long time since I’ve been with this guy. I remember years ago, he was thin, pale, quiet, unadorned and very conservative. Looking back to the old days, he had simple aspirations in life, that is, to be of help to his family by finishing college and landing a job probably as an architect or a nurse. He had no friends except me and he had brought all his focus in honing the talents that God has given him. He used to speak less though I knew his heart was full of stories to tell.

After college, we parted ways. I left him actually, not because I needed to but because I wanted to. He’s too boring for a mate. He didn’t know anything beyond the most complex algebraic expressions or the elements that most commonly present in the atmosphere. He lived his life with books and the imaginary characters he found therein. He didn’t play any sports. He didn’t wear jeans. He had never been to a mall until I invited him one time during our second year in college. My god! He’s a hermit living in a cave of forgotten existense. He had lived a simple life but I had never once heard him complain or protest why others have to be more blessed.

That’s what I had liked about him. Yes, he’s too corny but he’s true. He never lied, he never doubted anything that people told him, he’s very smart yet humble, he’s mysterious, he’s very different. When I came to Manila to work, I did change. I have liked all the new found things that I have not seen in the province and when I was still with him, the huge malls, branded clothes, gadgets, new friends and too many others to mention. I forgot about him just as my Friendster friends keep on growing. Then for a long time, I have not seen him. I don’t know if he’s dead already. There was no news of it.

So many years passed, I had not heard about him. How I wished I could have given him some complimentary gifts when I was still with San Miguel or invited him to the many occasions that I have spearheaded in our house. How I wished I could have talked to him and just simply take a trip down memory lane. But where is he? Now I am here in Dubai and friends are too hard to find, after so many things that have transpired, after dropping him from my priority list, after denying him a chance to go with the flow, after letting him alone, after leaving him lonely, his thoughts and character suddenly graced my imagination.

Could I be missing him? well, I must admit I am. But why? Maybe I got tired of the lights and the modern times and I am looking for some peace and truthfulness . I know he is not that hard to find, only if I will look closer and deeper within myself. I miss him, yeah, i miss the man. I am missing the man I used to be.







10 comments:

  1. Ooh..it's not bad to live with the world..sometimes we have to help ourselves para bumagay tayo sa mundo na ating ginagalawan..

    ReplyDelete
  2. I can relate Chico...
    Ganyan din feeeling ko nung sinulat ko to...
    http://wattuduyanie.blogspot.com/2009/05/ano-nang-nangyari-sayo.html
    Some people really do change, explains why you miss a lot of things especially when you look back...
    Hope you changed for the good , thoughh!

    ReplyDelete
  3. we all have to go through that process of 'change' in our lives, thats inevitable. we cant be all like who we are 20 years ago. time is fleeting so as to be stacked with the way we are.

    the important thing is, like what they said, is changing for the better and in the process making more people happy and proud.

    ReplyDelete
  4. you made me wander with this post... hindi ko alam kung maiiayak o mangingiti. Pinaaalala mo uli ang dating ako. parehas tayo second year college na ako namulat sa ilang buhay-siyudad. wala rin akong maong na pantalon. baduy magdamit, laging pinagtatawanan. But then, natutung lumaban. Nakipagsabayan sa takbo ng buhay.
    Ang daming kwento ng buhay ko ang nakalimutan ko na.pero sa paglalahad mong ito, madami kang pinaalala.
    Salamat sa pagpapaalala mo. Sana maibilang kita sa iilang kaibigan ko dito sa dubai.

    ReplyDelete
  5. kkk ^^ Chillax..things change for the better ^^

    ReplyDelete
  6. I'm sure nabasa ko na ito rito last time. Re-post ba 'to, bro? Parang nag-iwan ako ng comment ko noon.

    Nakaka-relate ako, magaling!

    ReplyDelete
  7. oblige with your instincts. kung 'di ka man naniniwala sa mental telepathy, that is what is happening to the two of you. your friend may be thinking of you which made you think of him. vice-versa. pray that you may see your friend online and it may just come true.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Sometimes we need to change, not just for our self, but for the better of all that we love. You are on a new part of world, where is you need to change your before image. We need to ride on the flow. Keep safe. ;D


    Solo
    Travel and Living
    Job Hunt Pinoy

    ReplyDelete
  9. you are engulfed of your present life in dubai
    thats how the system works

    na culturized baga
    Like im experiencing in my life in France

    balanced will keep your sanity
    and put limits to everything

    Not all that glitters are gold

    all these are vanity and will soon pass away

    have courage

    ReplyDelete
  10. hindi mahirap hanapin ang dating nating sarili, ang mahirap lang gawin e ung tanggapin ang realidad na hinahanap natin ang sarili natin pero di naman natin sinusubukan na gawin kung ano ang mga bagay na gusto nating maging . . . kung ung dati pa rin ba nating sarili o ang bagong ikaw sa mundong ginagalawan mo ngayon . . . we always have a choice di ba? minsan parang scapegoat na lang natin na hanapin ang sarili natin pero enjoy naman tau sa present life natin . . . ang nakaka miss lang talaga e ung simpleng pamumuhay na ineenjoy natin before, kasi as we grow, things become complicated, and once it becomes complicated, it's too difficult for us to get out of that complications in life . . . pero nasa atin pa rin ang pagpili . . . we all have the reason to choose what we wanted us to be . . . a plain and simple person or a man of the world with emptiness inside . . .

    ReplyDelete