Thursday, September 17, 2009

A Bigger Job

Before I went out of the office this afternoon, I bid goodbye to my American superior, he just arrived from a month long vacation. I have just been regularized; so he asked me how my job was. I said it was fine. I said that I was getting along very well with the job and been learning a lot as each day progresses. Sounds good? Hmm, but you know what? Lately I have been trying hard to hold my head together as I dealt with the overwhelming responsibilities as the company's new accountant. Not that I feel incapable of doing what’s assigned to me, it’s only that sometimes I would want to tell them that true I am just a paid employee but I also do get tired dutifully unlike a restless robot.

This is not my way of complaining what I couldn’t tell my boss straight to his face. Pardon my silent rally; I am just yet again in one of those rare moments when the circumstances drown me in little irreverence. My tolerance towards challenging and taxing accountabilities has seemed to have gradually diminished with time or is it just the fact that I have never really liked "positions" from the very beginning? Contrary to what you might think, I have a self downsized personality. Oftentimes I fear representing a group, leading a pack, managing a task or simply in charge of a concerted effort.

I have worked for San Miguel Corporation as a Senior Financial Analyst for more than six years. Had I not resigned to pursue my Dubai dreams, I would have been a manager by now. Well, actually I was told about it when I decided to leave the company. My boss revealed their plans for me as if knowing them would entice me to stay. Had they've informed me ahead of my decision, I would have declined either. I know my own strengths, but at times that I feel that I am not ready yet, I don’t take risk, even if that represent a once in a lifetime shot.

Now, I kinda feel the same, too overworked and the responsibilities coming too big to handle. Am I waiting for someone else to tell me that I can do this? Nope. But certainly it will be appreciated. They trusted me for this job and I don’t need another thing to happen so I could realize that. I just couldn't tweet "if I could only transfer to another job by tomorrow". I should be thankful that I got a job after the long wait. I have learned my lessons well. I have grown up and ready for the challenge.

Not all are given the chance that I have let slipped through my fingers simply out of convenience and silliness. I am not letting go of this one. I am not made to break. I know my own strengths.


  1. That's how brave you are..Time travels in a straight line, so there's no need to regret. Nangyari na ang nangyari. Pagbutihan mo na lang kung anong meron ka ngayon.

    Congrats nga pala sa work mo. Wish you all the best!

  2. i really love reading blogs especially yours. it's one way of understanding other people's way of life.
    in your situation now, naniniwala ako na kaya mo yan! the problem with most of us e natatakot kasi tayong makipagsapalaran sa panibagong mundo o mawala sa ating mga comfort zones. Mahirap magadjust nga naman pero lahat naman ng bagay ay nagpagaaralan at nakakasanayan kung isasapuso at gugustuhin mo din.
    I also facing the same challenge as yours, i'm about to resign in my work and katulad mo mejo hesitant sa mangyayari o kakayanin ko ba ung responsibilities na ibibigay sa akin. But i believe in my self na kaya ko. Isipin mo lang na kaya mo at makakaya mo talaga. Focus, work hard and PRAY!yun ang pinakamahalagang bagay na gawin. "If others can, why can't I" ika nga...

  3. don't make that wrong decision that might end messing things up again. you had been to so many hardships and struggles in life, now you're recovering, don't let, as you say “silliness” takes its toll again. you know that you can do all those things even without others prodding. responsibilities were given you because they believe in your capacity and capability on doing it. just keep on going . . . congrats for the regularization!!! treat naman jan

  4. You wouldn't know how good a swimmer you are until you venture the open sea.

    A tree will grow but remain stunted in a pot.

    Pa-profound ba?

    Kaya mo yan. Dahil ang Pinoy, walang hindi nakakaya.

  5. you know what, if people trusted you with something, that means they believe in you. and you must be the first person to believe that trust placed in you.

    sometimes the way will be long and difficult. sometimes will think na hindi natin kaya. possible yun pero all things can be learned, sabi nga, there's always room for improvement.

    so cheer up man! you can do that. i can see that you are brilliant and smart. never let those hangups get into your life.

  6. congrats sam!! basta ha, fighting, fighting lang! oki?? kaya mo yan! :D


  7. Am so proud of you!!! At least now, you've realized how important to love your job...But then, you will not realize that if you didn't experienced what you went thru....LOVE YOUR JOB SAM and don't forget to thank HIM!!!

  8. I experienced this before and you know it is really up to you. In my case I made a wrong decision of leaving my first job that is promising. Right now I am working in a company that not really good but I said to myself that I will save money and have my own business in the near future because I want to do my potential. I am hardworking and ambitious so I feel that I deserve a better future.