Light in the Dark

It is in dark times that the eyes begin to see. It is in the dark of the night that one sees the stars that lead back to home. When Vincent Van Gogh stood outdoors and looked up into the night sky, he didn’t see darkness. What he saw was vast peace and majesty that inspired him to paint one of his famous artwork, the Starry Starry Night. When you are in difficult situations and rough times, your mind gets clearer and helps you understand why you have to go that ordeals and how you can overcome it.

Months ago, I was at my darkest. My mind was almost corrupted with hopelessness that I could no longer catch up with the time and opportunities that I have let lost. I was at a terrible depression that getting back on track was seemingly impossible. It's one point in my life that I don’t want to happen again. Yet something strange during those moments were slapping me to my face now each time when I look at my blog space and each time that I count the times that I've prayed, the times that I've sent messages to friends and the times that I have been so positive and grateful.

Too many lights can be so distracting and blinding and the endless sights that surround us, as we see them all, can create confusion as to what is important from what's not. Some people opined that I have written some of my most heartfelt and inspiring blogs back at a time when I was still jobless. Now that I got one, I could barely find time to write and write rightfully. True enough. When you are down and troubled, you got to think more within yourself and beyond the artificialities that define present human conditions. When you are deprived, you got to think more of what is essential and necessary. When you are in the dark, you are more inspired and reaching out. You got to see the whole place though there's nothing and appreciation is rewarded even for the smallest shade of light that we could ever find.

The days before my sudden but explicable dip into being a busy guy were one of the most humbling experiences in my life. Yet being the most painful and even suicidal, it was the most rewarding in terms of realizations and growth as an individual. During those times, I have reflected on my deeds, learned my mistakes, found my strengths and embodied the hope that darkness in a man's life would never be permanent unless you chose to have it that way. It is in dark times that we find God most clearly. Didn't we all started our lives with nine months of darkness - in our monther's womb. That early darkness in our life was comforting and nurturing, a place to grow and develop, a dark place where we found security in not knowing, but in trusting.

Indeed it is dark times that we see and learn more. I have seen the light when I was there in my deepest fear and torment, how I wish that I could find the same inspiration and hope now that I am out of dimness.